Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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