she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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