i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
