I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
