YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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