woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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