So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
