I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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