we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
