If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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