Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
