If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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