Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
