when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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