is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
