2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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