My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
