He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
