I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
