well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
