We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
