ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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