call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
