Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
