ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My dick has a subreddit
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
