i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
