Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
