She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
