I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
