I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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