in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
