You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
