my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
soo... how was my night?
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