How'd it feel making her break her religion?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
