and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
