No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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