maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
