...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
