HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
