Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
