So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
