hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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