Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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