What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
