He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
