i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
