fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
