Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Let's get the cat blown out
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
