we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
