okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
