and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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