yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I want to make a zoo with you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
